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5/22/2007 i know this is off. for ppl reading this, pls bear wif me thx. this is juz another one of those posts dat everyone hates. still, this IS a blog. u. pls la. come on i know im in no position to say this but.. wad makes u tink u can get away wif her. hello.. maybe im maligning u.. ok. fine. but i tink not. i see through your lies and 'coincidental' happenings la. its so obvious pls, to us. if u realli appreciate someone, im sure shes so behind the very first person u shld tink of. pls. its obvious wad u are trying to do. closest fren?! tink agn. there are so much, and i MEAN so many ppl who know her longer den u. n another same sch guy. u seriously no zi ge put her as wdv u put her as. i noe its a free country, i noe this kind of things cannot be foreseen, let alone be prevented. trust me. i know this. but i think u're juz getting over ur head.. no offence, im juz saying wad i wan to sae. dats all. hai you ni. U. i dno wads been happening to u recently, and i am not ashamed of saying i seriously do not know. for me its juz one of those times when u suddenly appreciate others, an individual i might add. n it so happens to be u. if u noe wad im toking abt, pls. juz dun say anything. if u dno.. well... i have to sae i admire u. even if i noe i din say it. i noe this sounds weird i know. coz its weird to me itself. im astounded too pls. n i juz dno why this kind of thing muz happen to me. maybe u nv noticed, maybe u dun even care.. but.. yar. dey sae 'love' breeds hate. i agree. i dun even tink this is wad i call love. it juz isnt. but its basically alike i guess~> i realli dno wad i wan. i dun even noe if i lyk or hate u. this recent turn of events juz rendered everything worthless. u ARE my motivation these days. u are someone whom i was aiming everything, my studies, competitions, for all this time. yet ironically, shld u be the one who took dem away. alrite. u haven. but im sad. im disappointed. im suffering. its juz lyk wad someone said. i suddenly feel pointless in everything. my hopes.my dreams. juz.. gone. i mean, seriously am i dat bad. or is dat guy much nicer den me. self confidence: everyone tells me to have self confidence. wad use is dat. i tried my best to brighten up everyone at sch. yet im the one who nids brightening up myself. lyk will self confidence help at all? no. i dun c it. okae fine maybe im jealous. maybe wo jiu shi bu fu. but i juz wan to tell u. pls dun tink everyone has forgotten u or sth pls. i juz dno why. u live in others' hearts, im sure of it. yet. u seem to have chosen him, in which i wish.. i was wrong. girls. i dno wad u all tink. i try my best to have self confidene i try my best to talk and not dao. yet, somehow, i feel lyk im at the losing end of everything. i feel nothingness. i wan to justify all this. its juz not fair. if u lyk him can juz sae. i dun wan to remain in that space, that nothingness. the pain will come, but isnt it better to end all this earlier. n pls some other girl, dun tok to me abt how shuai or wad some guy is. i might not show it, but i feel indirectly suanned. i feel niaoed can. its lyk self confidence weirong. i did. i had it. den ppl destroyed it agn. i admit it. i cried okae. seriously. all this is so wrong. i wish u the best in everything u do. even if its abt him. though i plead dat u consider. not dat im jealous, but there are other ppl who are waiting for u, even longer den him, if u din noe. maybe he doesnt lyk u, maybe im wrong, or maybe u dun even lyk him. i dno.. there are ppl more hurt den me, if u can figure out who he is. yar... u. i;ve seen ur blog. i can see through everything. dun try to act. if its bcoz of schs agn. integrated programme. i wish i had nv known u. but i believe u arent dat sort. i believe. jiayou, thank u for everything. Last Forever 9:36 PM |
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